вторник, 21 октября 2008 г.

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Me and Cherie are going to Japan together next june/july
We plan to sneakily sneak into the angelic pretty shop and hide in there when they close haha xDD
But gosh, it will be so fun
We get to go to her friends schooool
And go to Tokyo Disney Land
And Harajuku
Baby, Angelic Pretty, Closet Child, Meta, Jesus Diamante� hearts;hearts;
The sanrio land thing
We are going to have SO�MUCH fun
I cant wait to meet her friend Mei aswell :3

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понедельник, 20 октября 2008 г.

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I had so many happy and wonderful things to post about from this weekend, but now I just donapos;t have the heart to write. Four more fishes have been escorted out of the bowl. Iapos;m depressed. I think the longer this goes on, the bigger the survivorapos;s guilt becomes amoung those left.

I though dancing would make me feel better, but my ballet instructor decided to focus on pilates tonight. I hate pilates. I left early. My brain is just mush at this point and my heart is heavy.
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Publishing


You are violating: 1.Yahoo Terms of Service- Section 6, part a c. 2.Flickr Community Guidelines. 3.Publishing law- privacy and human rights.

1. The photographs you have published of me under the title of apos;little brotherapos; are a misrepresentation of my relationship
to you as I am not a family relation of yours nor have I had any kind of relationship with you since late 2007.
2. The posting of these photographs proceeds that date: Considering the subject of them has deliberately unaffiliated themself with you since the period in which they were taken, that could be considered creepy and harassive.
3. You have published many other photographs of me without my consent which are available in the public domain under
the search heading of my full name. This is an infringement of my privacy and an extension of the ongoing harassment that I
have received from you outside of this matter.
Please ensure these images are removed from the public domain.
I have reported my concerns to Flickr administration and though they seem reluctant to enforce their own guidelines and terms of use
I would be entitled to pursue legal action should these images not be removed from the public domain.
Any reply to this statement will not be read or responded to.
(Full name here)

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Posting once or twice a year is a really bad idea. I tend to forget some of the issues Iapos;ve written about already and I have to re-read them myself from time to time. Quite stupid, donapos;t you think? But then again, I never clamed I was too much of a genious...

AAnnnnyway. I wanted to talk about this thing that bothers me lately. Fans and their idols. I have my idols too and I admire people too, no doubt about it. Everyone does. But from admiring some personapos;s music/films/photos/godknowswhatever... To jumping and screaming and doing like a madman to have their babies.... Thatapos;s a totally different issue. Why? Well, maybe I am insane and old-fashioned (only in this matter, I assure you) but... How can someone possibly fall in love with a ...person is too much, (because we have a person(the fan) and a stage persona(an image) of another person involved)that they know absolutely zero things about?? I mean... Why? whatapos;s the point of becoming so infatuated with a created personality? I donapos;t blame the artist, for the sake of the perfect image and sales and fans, one may do whatever they wish, not my problem. But even that goes to hell once you are assaulted by tons and tons of useless fanmail filled with absurd declarations of feelings never felt... If there is one thing I admire in one of these apos;celebritiesapos; more than their jobs in their field of work is their patience. Patience to put up with stupidity and lack of privacy every day. And for that, no matter how horrible I consider their stuff, be it whatever, Iapos;ll always respect them at least for those two things.

The second issue is on a more personal note. Have you ever seen things around you that you know, because of your social education and common sense they canapos;t be there? They souldnapos;t be there. Have you ever thought someone was behind you or watched you and when you turnd to look at said person the only thing you saw was an empty road or room?
Have you ever felt touches when thereapos;s nobody around? And no, not that kind of touches but simple bumps and something like a brush of hands on oneapos;s shoulder, that kind of crap. Have you ever felt like all you wanted to do was pull your eyes out of your head and end it all? Me neither. Not the last part at least. They are fun. And probably normal. We are the abnormals. Because, if we were more tolerant, more imaginative and more...curious about all these, weapos;d probably know what the hell is going on around this planet. But we couldnapos;t care less. We had it coming. So far, I find it rather... Amusing. Or who knows, maybe Iapos;m just one step closer to insanity. You?

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воскресенье, 19 октября 2008 г.

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I tried, i really did. I gave too much of an effort, and i guess iapos;m done..for now. Iapos;ve been thinking for a while now, but whatever. Life goes on.

FUCK�THIS�HELL�HOLE�OF�A�CITY. I HATE santa ana. TWO fucking stabbings in two months, what a nice city. Congratulations los amigos�high, we made it in the newspaper.�OH and a pointless fight two dumbfuck freshman started in the L building hall.�santa ana is shit. I canapos;t wait to leave here and meet some people that actually have a purpose in life, like the�handful�of people i actually care about. I miss one person in particular. Terribly. I need to talk to her right now, i wish i could, right now sheapos;s probably alone in mexico in need of someone too.

i donapos;t know, i guess iapos;m just feeling really pessimistic right about "life" in general right now, things have been spiraling downward ever since junior year started.

one little thing after the other.

whatever, things will pass and one day i will read this again and say how stupid i was acting and ask myself why i was feeling this in the first place.

until then..

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I like life lessons.
I think the reason why I enjoy trouble and mistakes is that I always learn something valuable at the end.
but when most people learn something, they usually refrain from making the same mistake twice.
I, however, hear my life lesson and then laugh and do it again.

I know what I should and shouldnapos;t do.
I know right from wrong and the difference between what I know and what I feel.

I say stupid things.
I do even more stupid of things.

and at the end of every night I always tell myself tomorrow will be different, all the while knowing tomorrow will be exactly the same.

when I grow up, ill have so much to tell my children not to do. So much to warn them about.
so many stories..

Its ended but it hasnapos;t at the same time.
it feels like there will never be an end.
im waiting for it. Welcoming it, even.

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��� ��� ��� ��� Dear you,
�� Best friends forever. Thatapos;s what you say weapos;ll be. You help me with all my problems, as Iapos;ve done for you. I know I can always count on you when the rest of the world is pushing me into the dumps. I love you so much for that. And for everything else youapos;ve done for me, as there have been many things.

� Then... Theres her. The girl that youapos;ll never really get over. The one who you love with your whole heart. Much more than you could ever love me, your best friend. I�understand that, I suppose. But I still remember the time you expressed something a bit more than friendship, I knowing it was nothing but you missing her, ignored it. You probably donapos;t remember that. Well, I do.

�Iapos;ve been with you for all the hell sheapos;s put you through. Iapos;ve tried to help as much as I could. Well, shes



Oh fuck all that I love you



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